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Post by Admin/ A. Mistretta on Sept 6, 2013 9:16:19 GMT -5
Please read the second chapter of Discipline with Dignity: New Challenges, New Solutions by Curwin, Mendler, and Mendler. Answer one of the following questions and post your response. You must reply to two people with a meaningful response. Please post all responses by Friday, September 20, 2103.
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks.
2. Examine your current methods of intervention when students misbehave. Each method should have two components for it to be successful. Ask these questions before implementing:
a. Does the intervention work? Is it getting what I want (improved behavior, better attendance, etc.)?
b. Does it preserve or attack dignity (does the student leave feeling good about us or hating us)?
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Post by shannarae1 on Sept 7, 2013 20:43:53 GMT -5
1. When teaching students responsibilities, students should understand what is expected. For example, as educators, we understand that when we create rules, we stay away from the following phrases:
Do not talk when others talk, Do not hit others, Do not invade someone’s personal space…….
Instead, we use phrases such as: Keep hands and feet to self, Treat others with respect, Follow Directions……..
The rules listed above are incomplete; rules need to define what to do and how to do it. Values define why we do it the way we do it. So, there are three components to consider when creating rules/expectations, what, how and why. Here are some examples of effective rules that students will willingly follow.
1a. (What) Hands and feet must be (How) kept to ourselves (Why) because we must respect the safety of others. According to the book, “Rules guided by values are necessary for effective discipline.” This was an eye opener for me, because we set rules with students, but how much time do we spend explaining why we use the rules that we create. One way we can reinforce students being responsible and following expectations is by making sure they have choices, by making sure we give students opportunities to critically think and room to make mistakes, we are teaching and reinforcing the notion of being responsible. While reading page 39, I was enlighten once I read that if a person wants true power, they have to give some of it away.
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burke
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Post by burke on Sept 8, 2013 5:43:52 GMT -5
The fundamental core beliefs of an effective behavior-based program are: 1. Dealing with student behavior is part of the job: I have always said that a teacher must effectively manage his/her classroom in order to maximize learning. 2. Always treat students with dignity: I am human and will occasionally slip and treat students in such a way that their dignity is not maintained. To combat this, once I realize I have embarrassed or scolded a student, I try to go back and apologize. 3. Discipline works best when integrated with effective teaching practices: When students are actively engaged in learning, they are simply too busy to even think about misbehaving. 4. Adults see it as their professional responsibility to make positive, consistent connections with students: I always feel guilty because I believe I spend much more time on students who misbehave than students who are compliant. I feel the students who behave want to say, “Well what about me? Don’t I get attention for doing the right thing?” We have tried to combat this by trying to spend as much time on positive reinforcement as we are forced to on the negative. It was an “ah-ha” moment for me to read that students who “often try to get adults angry” are the “very students who need their teachers to be tougher at not giving up on them”. Wow! 5. Acting out is sometimes an act of sanity: Looking at the one, two, or three students who misbehave in my class as a way to teach the other students how the class with be disciplined with dignity becomes a learning experience for me. What a great way to use that information to improve my skills…as this belief discusses in this chapter. 6. Fair is not always equal: We do a great job of this at Billingsville in our Guided Reading and Guided Math instruction. The same type of differentiation works with classroom management. --Dianne L. Burke
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burke
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Post by burke on Sept 8, 2013 6:14:23 GMT -5
Mrs. Rae, Thank you for showing us how to turn negative rules (Do not...) to rules with positive verbs (Keep, treat, follow). I especially like the what, how, and why. In retrospect, I always had the what and how, but look how important the rule becomes when we add the why (safety of others)...like the book states, "no discussion, no negotiation"--we must all be safe. Teaching the "whys" develops the students' character and their self-discipline. Teaching values gives several long-term benefits such as communication and getting along with others (page 30); behavior change (page 34); responsibility (page 36); critical thinking and shared decision making (page 39); and hope (page 41). --Dianne L. Burke
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Post by Debbi Gillespie on Sept 9, 2013 18:32:35 GMT -5
As I am reading this book and thinking about my responses I am examining my rules and expectations for my class. Some of them are our rules, but I must admit that some are mine. I am reflecting on them in order to be sure that they are rules and expectations that we can all agree on. I will go back to my students and plan to get their buy in for those rules and expectations. I have always tried to present them in a positive manner, but again I am examining them to be sure they are positively stated and are very specific defining the what, how, and why of the rule. Wow, so much to think about!
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Post by Rice on Sept 9, 2013 20:50:02 GMT -5
Love the what, how, why approach. Feel like the what and how come naturally, but could do a better job reinforcing the why (which seems like the most important). Thanks, Mrs. Rae!
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Post by AKelley on Sept 10, 2013 15:10:46 GMT -5
"5. Acting out is sometimes an act of sanity: Looking at the one, two, or three students who misbehave in my class as a way to teach the other students how the class with be disciplined with dignity becomes a learning experience for me. What a great way to use that information to improve my skills…as this belief discusses in this chapter." __ Dianna L. Burke I completely agree Burke. Sometimes we need to "use" the mistakes of some to help the greater good of the class. People 99% of the time can recognize the errors of others, but only recognize about 1% of their own. Turn negative/unacceptable behaviors into teachable moments.
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Post by AKelley on Sept 10, 2013 15:48:17 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks.
I think the most important part about teaching rules to students is to explain WHY they even exist in the first place.
I like to ask students (when developing class rules or just having a conversation about rules in general), "Why are rules important,
"what would happen if rules didn't exist," or
"what would happen if we had too many rules?"
I believe when everyone (adult or child) is told a rule he/she needs to understand the reason(s) behind it. It's simply not enough to state a rule without any type of justification or explaination. Children especially must understand that rules help them with everything they do in life. Whether it be walking safely down the hallway, playing a game, or making sure they get enough sleep at night. Without an reason it's simply just another demand from an adult that (through a child's eyes) may or may not be important.
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Post by Saunders on Sept 10, 2013 20:03:15 GMT -5
I have to agree with Kelley in that all people, regardless of age, must buy in to whatever it is they are being expected to follow. Even when I'm asked to do something, or not do something, I need to be able to understand...not just be told why the expectation is such. I feel it's part of our human nature to question or defy things so we have to make it worthwhile.
I also agree with Rae's "how, what, why" strategy. I think it is important that our children have the right understanding of what we expect. On the other hand, I also think it ties into the previous opinion I agreed with. While I want to explain my expectation to students, I also want to make sure they understand and see what is NOT ok. For instance, "respect space and property" (which I feel I remind people of numerous times a day), can be contradictory. What I see as my space, may not be what a superior sees as "my space." There must be that mutual understanding and place to build rules upon.
As far as question 2, I feel like I implement and seek out new interventions daily. Some that do work are: allowing student to take a time out, without punishment just so they can get their thoughts/emotions together, giving them the chance to calm down and then reflect on what happened, and one that I find works very well (and prob isn't an intervention per-say, but something I just find works) is asking the child how I can help. Asking what I can do to help them become a better learner or have a better learning environment in a certain situation. More often than not it allows them to realize that they hold most of the control of the situations that happens. I have also started letting a child have a conversation with me before I notify a parent (good or bad) so that they know what I plan on telling the parent or sending them via note. They are allowed the chance to tell me if they think there is something else (good or bad) that I should tell them, and the parents are also aware that I'm giving their student a fair chance to explain themselves and be part of the process. Lastly, I try to let the kids know that I too am human and make mistakes (along with other adults), and it sometimes help them to see that they are not alone in how they feel and act.
Hope you all can excuse my scattered, run on sentences!
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Post by Rice on Sept 11, 2013 19:11:47 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks.
Providing choices. We need to keep in mind what we want the outcome or goal to be and then provide choices for students to achieve that goal. I do it with Madison all the time. It's bedtime and she needs jammies so instead of telling her it's time to put pajamas on, I ask her if she wants the Dora ones or the Princess ones. She feels empowered, makes her choice, and has achieved the expected outcome. Our students live by ways of needs and not wants and rarely face opportunities to make choices.
This chapter also reinforced that fair is not always equal. Goals can be set, but some students need various accommodations to meet that goal.
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Post by Rice on Sept 11, 2013 19:13:44 GMT -5
"5. Acting out is sometimes an act of sanity: Looking at the one, two, or three students who misbehave in my class as a way to teach the other students how the class with be disciplined with dignity becomes a learning experience for me. What a great way to use that information to improve my skills…as this belief discusses in this chapter." __ Dianna L. Burke I completely agree Burke. Sometimes we need to "use" the mistakes of some to help the greater good of the class. People 99% of the time can recognize the errors of others, but only recognize about 1% of their own. Turn negative/unacceptable behaviors into teachable moments. Teachable moments can be extremely powerful! Well said, Burke and Kelley!
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Post by shannarae1 on Sept 12, 2013 20:32:06 GMT -5
Mrs. Gillespie, you got it! So much to think about!
Mrs. Burke is also correct FAIR is not always EQUAL and that alone can be challenge!
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Post by kvang21 on Sept 13, 2013 12:28:58 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks. Providing choices. We need to keep in mind what we want the outcome or goal to be and then provide choices for students to achieve that goal. I do it with Madison all the time. It's bedtime and she needs jammies so instead of telling her it's time to put pajamas on, I ask her if she wants the Dora ones or the Princess ones. She feels empowered, makes her choice, and has achieved the expected outcome. Our students live by ways of needs and not wants and rarely face opportunities to make choices. This chapter also reinforced that fair is not always equal. Goals can be set, but some students need various accommodations to meet that goal. I couldn't agree more with this. When we provide choices it shows that we, as the teacher, care, and we are giving the students the choice to choose. Student rebel because they do not like the route we have chosen for them. They dont have a voice in their learning. This also helps them to understand responsibility. Whatever the outcome may be, they were the one who choose that choice. They have to own up to it.
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Post by kvang21 on Sept 13, 2013 12:38:27 GMT -5
One of the key building blocks, in my opinion, is that fair is not always equal. As teachers, we think that we have to treat all our students the same, but depending on the student, that might not be the case. Disciple with Dignity talks about differentiating instructions. If I have a range of students in my class, I cannot expect them to do the same kind of work and produce the same kind of results. As a teacher, we need to modify instruction and assignment to meet the student's need. Some kids act out simply because the assignment is too hard or too easy. Their behavior could be a reflection of the classroom instruction. As a teacher, I know I need to reflect on this. Is student A acting out because he does not understand the assignment or was it too hard for him. What can I do to get him to where he needs to be. Maybe he needs some one- on one time with me or a tutor? Once the student sees that my responsibility is for him and his learning, I can bridge the gap to his issue of acting up. He then, can understand and take responsibility for his learning and behavior. The teacher should lead by example. Being fair is not treating the students equally, but being fair is responding to the students according to their needs whether academically or behaviorally. You should always try to give every student your best.
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Post by virginia on Sept 13, 2013 12:52:10 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? I think it is important to allow students to come up with rules and consequences. It will allow students to have some control over the environment where they spend most of their day.With so many things out of their control this will also help manage the anger and frustrations students sometimes feel always being told what to do.Also sometimes letting students talk about the behavior or situations that take place in the classroom lets them reflect and gives them some responsibility to help come up with solutions.When students own something they can learn so much more. It is kind of like that old saying if you give a man a fish,you feed him for a day,show him how to catch a fish and you feed him for a lifetime. If we teach students responsibility early they will always have it with them.
I agree with Ms. Rae about the why in rules. I am learning to take more time to explain why so students have a better understanding of my expectations. Ms. Burke I feel gulity about the same thing to much time on negative behavior and not enough on students doing the right thing. I am trying to stop before I say something and working on more eye contact with the student off task so I am not stopping everyone and can get the student off task back on.
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Post by MFrail on Sept 15, 2013 10:59:55 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks. Providing choices. We need to keep in mind what we want the outcome or goal to be and then provide choices for students to achieve that goal. I do it with Madison all the time. It's bedtime and she needs jammies so instead of telling her it's time to put pajamas on, I ask her if she wants the Dora ones or the Princess ones. She feels empowered, makes her choice, and has achieved the expected outcome. Our students live by ways of needs and not wants and rarely face opportunities to make choices. This chapter also reinforced that fair is not always equal. Goals can be set, but some students need various accommodations to meet that goal. I chose to quote this post because some times I forget how essential it is for children to make their own choices, as simple as the choices may be. It gives them power over their decisions, while also holding them accountable if they choose to make a poor decision. I also like the way you touched on the fair not equal portion. I'm working on bettering my differentiated instruction in my classroom so this is a quote that always sticks out to me.
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Post by MFrail on Sept 15, 2013 11:05:05 GMT -5
4. Adults see it as their professional responsibility to make positive, consistent connections with students: I always feel guilty because I believe I spend much more time on students who misbehave than students who are compliant. I feel the students who behave want to say, “Well what about me? Don’t I get attention for doing the right thing?” We have tried to combat this by trying to spend as much time on positive reinforcement as we are forced to on the negative. It was an “ah-ha” moment for me to read that students who “often try to get adults angry” are the “very students who need their teachers to be tougher at not giving up on them”. Wow! --Dianne L. Burke I chose to comment on this portion because coming into this school I took notice of how everyone tries to focus on the positive. I hear teachers more often saying "I love the way so and so is sitting so nicely," which is something I have been doing and finding it really works in my classroom. The students making good choices are being acknowledged and the students off task are not being called out, rather their attention is being redirected and they quickly change their behavior because they too want positive recognition.
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Post by MFrail on Sept 15, 2013 11:12:16 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks.
I have always been taught that when making classroom rules you should do it with the children and keep it positive. Students often talk about "No hitting, no talking, etc." and teachers turn it around and make a positive statement. In my classroom we did just this and we also briefly discussed why we need rules. However, after reading chapter 2 I realized I am missing a key building block in teaching responsibility - the value. We sing our classroom rules song every day, but we haven't really talked about why we keep our places tidy and neat, or why we raise our hands before we speak. This is something I will plan on touching upon with my students and focusing on more in my classroom.
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Post by McRea Daniel on Sept 18, 2013 5:28:09 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks. Providing choices. We need to keep in mind what we want the outcome or goal to be and then provide choices for students to achieve that goal. I do it with Madison all the time. It's bedtime and she needs jammies so instead of telling her it's time to put pajamas on, I ask her if she wants the Dora ones or the Princess ones. She feels empowered, makes her choice, and has achieved the expected outcome. Our students live by ways of needs and not wants and rarely face opportunities to make choices. This chapter also reinforced that fair is not always equal. Goals can be set, but some students need various accommodations to meet that goal. I 100% agree with you Rice! When we give our students choices in the assignment or project, they feel empowered and therefore are more successful.
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Post by McRea Daniel on Sept 18, 2013 5:31:14 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks. I think the most important part about teaching rules to students is to explain WHY they even exist in the first place. I like to ask students (when developing class rules or just having a conversation about rules in general), "Why are rules important, "what would happen if rules didn't exist," or "what would happen if we had too many rules?" I believe when everyone (adult or child) is told a rule he/she needs to understand the reason(s) behind it. It's simply not enough to state a rule without any type of justification or explanation. Children especially must understand that rules help them with everything they do in life. Whether it be walking safely down the hallway, playing a game, or making sure they get enough sleep at night. Without an reason it's simply just another demand from an adult that (through a child's eyes) may or may not be important. Not only do they need to understand why this rule is important, but when they help to CREATE the rule and agree the rule is needed, that shows they have a key role in that classroom and are more likely to follow them.
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Post by McRea Daniel on Sept 18, 2013 5:40:13 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks.
One line in this chapter really stood out to me. It was "Students can not learn responsibility without choices and without an opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them. " I think a lot of teachers don't give students the chance to have choice which in turn, prevents them from becoming responsible. A classroom needs to be considered a classroom where mistakes are OK! We want the students to learn from their mistakes so they do not repeat them. Allowing choices in your classroom, allows the chance for students to make mistakes and see that their first choice wasnt the best one. Therefore the next time they are presented with this same choice, they will choose a better one and that creates a responsible student.
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votaw
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Posts: 22
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Post by votaw on Sept 18, 2013 13:58:04 GMT -5
1. What are the key “building blocks” in teaching students responsibility?
I feel the key building block for teaching children responsibility is allowing children to make choices. Children feel important when they are allowed to make choices. Giving children choices teaches children how to make responsible choices independently in the future. This teaching method may take longer to teach in the begining but in the long run it will become more natural for children to make good choices.
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votaw
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Posts: 22
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Post by votaw on Sept 18, 2013 14:00:14 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks. Providing choices. We need to keep in mind what we want the outcome or goal to be and then provide choices for students to achieve that goal. I do it with Madison all the time. It's bedtime and she needs jammies so instead of telling her it's time to put pajamas on, I ask her if she wants the Dora ones or the Princess ones. She feels empowered, makes her choice, and has achieved the expected outcome. Our students live by ways of needs and not wants and rarely face opportunities to make choices. This chapter also reinforced that fair is not always equal. Goals can be set, but some students need various accommodations to meet that goal. I agree it is very important to give our students choices to make them feel empowered.
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votaw
New Member
Posts: 22
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Post by votaw on Sept 18, 2013 14:18:30 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks. I think the most important part about teaching rules to students is to explain WHY they even exist in the first place. I like to ask students (when developing class rules or just having a conversation about rules in general), "Why are rules important, "what would happen if rules didn't exist," or "what would happen if we had too many rules?" I believe when everyone (adult or child) is told a rule he/she needs to understand the reason(s) behind it. It's simply not enough to state a rule without any type of justification or explanation. Children especially must understand that rules help them with everything they do in life. Whether it be walking safely down the hallway, playing a game, or making sure they get enough sleep at night. Without an reason it's simply just another demand from an adult that (through a child's eyes) may or may not be important. Not only do they need to understand why this rule is important, but when they help to CREATE the rule and agree the rule is needed, that shows they have a key role in that classroom and are more likely to follow them.
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votaw
New Member
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Post by votaw on Sept 18, 2013 14:21:13 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks. I think the most important part about teaching rules to students is to explain WHY they even exist in the first place. I like to ask students (when developing class rules or just having a conversation about rules in general), "Why are rules important, "what would happen if rules didn't exist," or "what would happen if we had too many rules?" I believe when everyone (adult or child) is told a rule he/she needs to understand the reason(s) behind it. It's simply not enough to state a rule without any type of justification or explaination. Children especially must understand that rules help them with everything they do in life. Whether it be walking safely down the hallway, playing a game, or making sure they get enough sleep at night. Without an reason it's simply just another demand from an adult that (through a child's eyes) may or may not be important. I agree, children need to take part in making class rules. This helps children take ownership of their actions.
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burke
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Post by burke on Sept 18, 2013 20:28:02 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks. I think the most important part about teaching rules to students is to explain WHY they even exist in the first place. I like to ask students (when developing class rules or just having a conversation about rules in general), "Why are rules important, "what would happen if rules didn't exist," or "what would happen if we had too many rules?" I believe when everyone (adult or child) is told a rule he/she needs to understand the reason(s) behind it. It's simply not enough to state a rule without any type of justification or explaination. Children especially must understand that rules help them with everything they do in life. Whether it be walking safely down the hallway, playing a game, or making sure they get enough sleep at night. Without an reason it's simply just another demand from an adult that (through a child's eyes) may or may not be important. Excellent questions ("Why are rules important", "what would happen if rules didn't exist," or "what would happen if we had too many rules?"), Mr. Kelley, to make the "Why" a natural part of making and/or explaining rules. Good point, Mr. Kelley, even adults (including me) tend to agree and instantly "want" to follow rules when they (I) know and understand the reasons why.
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Post by appleby on Sept 19, 2013 19:31:32 GMT -5
This chapter really made me reflect on what is happening in my classroom. I think one of the key building blocks is adding value to the rules. I have been talking about goals during our morning meeting and one of our goals that the students chose was following carpet rules. When I asked why we should follow carpet rules, most said, "The teacher told us to." We went over the value of those carpet rules and why it is important to follow them. Until reading this chapter and having that "ah-ha" moment in my room, I had not thought about making sure the students knew why we were doing this rule. I think this chapter has really opened my eyes.
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Post by Appleby on Sept 19, 2013 19:35:14 GMT -5
1. What are the key "building blocks" in teaching students responsibility? Identify one or two specific ways of teaching and reinforcing each of these building blocks. One line in this chapter really stood out to me. It was "Students can not learn responsibility without choices and without an opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them. " I think a lot of teachers don't give students the chance to have choice which in turn, prevents them from becoming responsible. A classroom needs to be considered a classroom where mistakes are OK! We want the students to learn from their mistakes so they do not repeat them. Allowing choices in your classroom, allows the chance for students to make mistakes and see that their first choice wasnt the best one. Therefore the next time they are presented with this same choice, they will choose a better one and that creates a responsible student. I completely agree! I think choices are incredibly important for the students. I also think that giving them choice will help them make the right decisions when the opportunity presents themselves.
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Post by Appleby on Sept 19, 2013 19:39:17 GMT -5
The fundamental core beliefs of an effective behavior-based program are: 1. Dealing with student behavior is part of the job: I have always said that a teacher must effectively manage his/her classroom in order to maximize learning. 2. Always treat students with dignity: I am human and will occasionally slip and treat students in such a way that their dignity is not maintained. To combat this, once I realize I have embarrassed or scolded a student, I try to go back and apologize. 3. Discipline works best when integrated with effective teaching practices: When students are actively engaged in learning, they are simply too busy to even think about misbehaving. 4. Adults see it as their professional responsibility to make positive, consistent connections with students: I always feel guilty because I believe I spend much more time on students who misbehave than students who are compliant. I feel the students who behave want to say, “Well what about me? Don’t I get attention for doing the right thing?” We have tried to combat this by trying to spend as much time on positive reinforcement as we are forced to on the negative. It was an “ah-ha” moment for me to read that students who “often try to get adults angry” are the “very students who need their teachers to be tougher at not giving up on them”. Wow! 5. Acting out is sometimes an act of sanity: Looking at the one, two, or three students who misbehave in my class as a way to teach the other students how the class with be disciplined with dignity becomes a learning experience for me. What a great way to use that information to improve my skills…as this belief discusses in this chapter. 6. Fair is not always equal: We do a great job of this at Billingsville in our Guided Reading and Guided Math instruction. The same type of differentiation works with classroom management. --Dianne L. Burke I like your number 6. Fair is not always equal. We do this so much when teaching our students academically. I really think this slips through the cracks when it comes to differentiation in classroom management. Not every child learns the same and not every child responds to discipline the same. I think knowing that our students are different in every aspect and we should try our best to accommodate those differences.
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Post by davidson on Sept 19, 2013 19:42:21 GMT -5
2. Examine your current methods of intervention when students misbehave. Each method should have two components for it to be successful.
I often try to give students all their choices. I am sure you have heard me say "You have two choices . . ." For example, you can sit down and be part of the group or I can call your family. You choose." I usually have to count backwards from 10 so both the student and I can calm down, and hopefully by 0 they have made their choice.
I am not sure this makes the student feel real good about me, but I also think it doesn't destroy dignity because I am putting the ball in their court. I am making them responsible for their choices. They can choose to do the right thing, or continue to make a bad choice, and as a result they have some kind of consequence. But I always like to give them that chance to make things right. And I have to be sure to followup on the phone call or note home! On the other hand, they can quickly turn the situation into a positive and earn an encouraging note or phone call to family.
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